


L’appel de Vide (Call of the Void)

by DanniAuttumns



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I did my best, Intrusive Thoughts, Negative Thoughts, Other, Panic Attacks, Queen - Freeform, Songs stuck in head, Suicidal Thoughts, if anyone needs anything else tagged please let me know, just a minor one tho, mentions of forks and electrical sockets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 14:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16557413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanniAuttumns/pseuds/DanniAuttumns
Summary: Eddie has been having some intrusive thoughts. And not the sexy kind.





	L’appel de Vide (Call of the Void)

“ _And that’s why you should vaccinate your fucking kids_.” Eddie said as he typed, knowing he could not under any circumstances let it remain in the document.

**We should send it that way.** The symbiote said, the voice in Eddie’s head sounded amused, and it made the man smile. Another day, when they weren’t being paid for it perhaps.

“People don’t like reading the news if if too direct. It feels like we’re calling them out.”

**But we _are_ calling them out. They _should_ vaccinate their fucking kids.**

 Eddie choked on his coffee trying to stifle a laugh, thankfully turning his head away so the spray didn’t land on his laptop.

“C’mon, we gotta think of a better line.” Eddie highlighted the text, backspacing and staring at the blinking cursor.

Nothing.

Eddie slammed his head down on the table, groaning loudly, and felt an alarm in his mind.

**Eddie!** The symbiote sounded so worried that he felt a little bad. It wasn’t as if he wanted to slam his head into the table, it was just his way of getting the cogs rolling. Nothing like a little self-induced bump on the noggin.

“I’m never gonna fuckin’ write a better line than that. I shouldn’t have even written it down.”

**Why would you do that?**

It took Eddie a moment to remember what he’d done, and when he did he pulled back up with a quiet groan. That was probably a bit harder than it needed to be. “You know how when the toaster oven isn’t working right and you hit it? Makes it work?”

**Humans don’t work that way.**

That was true, but Eddie was convinced it worked sometimes. People wouldn’t hit themselves in the head for being stupid if it didn’t.

**You aren’t stupid.**

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, bud, but I am. I knew better than that.” Standing up, Eddie grabbed his coffee cup. Needed more coffee. Putting coffee on the mental list of things to buy.

Venom was quiet in their head, and Eddie was starting to feel like he’d upset the symbiote somehow. It would be just his luck. He was honestly surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. Stupid-

**Eddie, stop.**

The man froze, his cup hovering over the sink, his muscles tense, being controlled by the other.

**I like this cup, don’t break it.**

He looked at the cup. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind? He didn’t want to break it either. “What brought that up?”

**You were preparing to break it.**

“No, I wasn’t.”

**We can feel it in our muscles, see it in our mind. You did.**

“Not seriously, though.” Venom released its control on Eddie’s arm, and he very gently placed the cup in the sink. The symbiote was quiet again.

**Explain.**

Eddie took a deep breath, trying to do that thing that Venom did sometimes with his memories. Like skimming book titles. “Just because I think about things, doesn’t mean I’m going to do them. You know, thoughts are weird that way.” He thought of when he was younger, fork in hand, outlet in front of him.

Then did his best to stop thinking of it, flexing his hand tight.

**You did it then.**

“I have problems with my impulses.” He didn’t really want to talk about it right now. He moved to pull on his jacket, “I’m not getting anything else done right now, lets go get some food.”

 ---

Eddie walked leisurely back to his apartment, doing his best to think of nothing. No things. No sir.

He knew how well that worked out, so he wasn’t really sure why he kept doing it.

**Where are you going?**

Eddie paused, blinking in confusion. “Home?”

**We passed that.**

Had they? Eddie looked up, realizing yes, they were on their way to Anne’s house. He certainly didn’t want to go there. He had perishables in his bags.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

**Thought you knew, you were thinking about Anne.**

“I wasn’t.”

**Yes.**

“Whatever.” He turned around, moving to pace back to his place. What was going on?

\--- 

It was a song lyric, over and over and over.

_I’m havin’ a good time. I don’t want to stop at all._

**Why are we thinking of this song?**

“What are you talking about?”

_Havin’ a good time._

**Queen.**

_Havin’ a good time._

“I swear to you, I would stop if I could.”

_Don’t want to stop at-_

**We can hear all our thoughts. Control them.**

_If you wanna have a good time-_

Eddie grabbed his head. As if holding it would stop all the voices. Venom’s and Freddie Mercury both.

_Don’t stop me now!_

**Eddie!**

 ---

Eddie was under the shower, still a bit unsteady on his feet. He hadn’t even taken off his clothes.

**This is much more practical. Now we don’t have to do laundry.**

The sarcasm made Eddie’s lips quirk up slightly.

“No, we’re not that lucky. Still gotta wash them.” The sensation of the symbiote coming out of his skin never got any less weird. Like if your skin decided to come alive and had no bones or muscle or anything keeping it up, but held it’s shape anyway. For shits and giggles.

“ **Eddie**.” The symbiote said, and it was hard to gauge the feelings Venom was trying to express with that perpetual smirk on his face, “ **Take off your clothes**.”

“Like where that sentence is going, bud.” He teased, and Venom hissed, which made him smile. He did as he was told, though getting clothes off while Venom was manifested was a bit tricky.

“ **Perhaps later we will discuss that option.”**

“What option? The sexy option? Ready for the conversation when you are.” He winked at the head coming out of him.

“ **You are hardly in the mood for that. What is wrong?”**

Eddie frowned slightly, kicking off his shoes. He wasn’t in the mood, but he was less in the mood for conversation.

“What do my brain chemicals taste like anyway? Do you have a favorite?”

“ **They taste like deflection**.” He took off his pants.

“Touché.”

The symbiote pushed him against the wall, looking into his eyes. Eddie squirmed, but he knew he wasn’t getting away, not when his muscles wouldn’t follow his commands.

“It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose.” Eddie started, biting his lip. He wanted to move, wanted to get away from this. He hated this conversation.

“ **Your thoughts have been troubling lately.”**

“I noticed.”

“ **Your moods have been all over the place.”**

“Working on it.”

“ **You don’t even realize when you are thinking when you ‘zone out’**.”

“That one’s called ‘disassociation’.”

Venom paused, cocking it's head and expecting Eddie to continue.

Eddie sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Sometimes human brains aren’t… regular.”

“ **No shit.”**

 “If you want me to continue, you’re gonna have to shut up for 2 seconds.”

Venom went silent.

“Okay, so… there’s that one. And sometimes words or phrases can get stuck in your mind on a loop and there’s no stopping them… Sometimes I just think bad things- look, all of them have different names. It’s all just- it’s complicated.”

“ **Uncomplicate it.”**

“Jesus fuck- I’m trying! Look, I have some thought patterns that aren’t considered what ‘regular’ human thought patterns are like. You done fucked up and got one with a screwy mind. Sorry.” He looked back down, meeting the symbiote’s opalescent eyes. They were narrowed at him as if upset. Great, just when he thought he was doing okay with this whole sharing thing.

“ **We will never allow harm to come to us**.”

Eddie blinked.

“What… are you talking about?” He thought he knew, he didn’t want to hear Venom say it. His chest felt tight. He couldn’t do this right now. He couldn’t.

Getting a little hard to breathe.

“ **Eddie, stop it!”** Venom snapped, but the symbiote couldn’t control this one. Venom let him go, and Eddie braced his hand on the opposite wall as he bent over at the waist. He felt the shifting of memories in his mind again, Venom trying to figure out what was wrong, so it could fix whatever was damaged.

Warmth enveloped his whole body, that black tar-like substance that made up his permanent companion all over his body. And just as quickly as it had covered him completely, it began to squeeze. The compression should have made it harder to breathe, but ever so slowly he began his regular breathing cycle once more.

“Thank you.” Eddie said softly, and Venom leaned their head against the wall, moving to turn off the water.

“ **You are welcome**.” It didn’t say anything for a while, taking them and laying them on the bed, where it slowly sank back into his skin.

“…L’appel de vide.” Eddie said after a moment, remembering how Anne had said it, how well the French had rolled off her tongue when he’d been writing the article, “’The call of the void’. That’s the feeling you get when you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and you-”

Venom was quiet for a couple moments.

**Your fear of heights?**

Eddie nodded, moving his pillow so it was aligned with his chest. He wrapped his arms around it like he would Annie. Like he would Venom, if he could manifest that way.

“Double that, I also have poor impulse control. So, when I think things, I’m… not always thinking? I just act. And it’s usually not super great.” He looked at the wall, feeling Venom witness his memories. His chest felt tight again.

**Shhhhh.** Venom said, and its voice was much more soothing than Eddie had ever heard it. **We will always catch us, should we fall.**

Eddie’s lips turned into a bitter smile. “It’s not the thought of falling I’m afraid of.”

_It’s the thought of jumping._

The thought crossed his mind before he could stop it, and he wished like anything Venom was not a mind reader at the moment.

Venom was quiet again, and ever so slowly Eddie watched at the symbiote’s form came up his arms.

It wasn’t like holding a person. Venom made himself a head, part of a torso, and arms to wrap around Eddie’s shoulders, but there wasn’t as much of him as when they made San-Francisco’s newest, and best, anti-hero. No legs. It made him feel a bit like a marsupial in a pouch. Or in a papoose.

“ **You do not want to leave us**?” Eddie felt tears sting his eyes and shook his head.

“You’re like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wish I could stop thinking those things, but I can’t. They just happen.” Eddie shifted, putting his head on Venom’s… shoulder? A bit of weird musculature, but he could dig it. It supported his head in the way no memory foam pillow ever would.

“ **Shhhh.”** The symbiote said again, this time the sound making an almost purring like sound in his… vocal place? Not a throat. Not his chest. Eddie wasn’t really sure where it came from, but it rumbled nicely. He relaxed his shoulders.

“ **You are ours. We will never let us go**.” The sentiment would have been creepy coming from a human lover, but from Venom it made Eddie feel warm and fuzzy and wanted. He pressed a gentle kiss to Venom’s attempt at a collar bone and was rewarded with another of those not-purr sounds.

“So, about the sexy option?”

“ **Go to sleep, Eddie**.”


End file.
